Respite care for elderly parents is short-term care from someone else so the usual family caregiver can rest, work, travel, or simply sleep. It can be a few hours of help at home, a day at an adult day center, a short stay in assisted living or a nursing home, or a break covered by hospice. The person you care for stays safe and looked after while you step away.
How much respite care you can get, and who pays for it, depends on the program. Most families pay privately for some of it, but Medicaid waivers, the VA, hospice, and local caregiver programs can cover part or all of it if your parent qualifies.
What respite care for seniors actually is
Respite is not a type of medical treatment. It is a break for the primary caregiver. The person who steps in may be a paid aide, a trained volunteer, staff at a senior living community, or a relative who agreed to take a shift. The care itself is usually the same care you give every day: company, meals, medication reminders, help with bathing and the toilet, and a watchful eye.
Senior respite care can be planned, like a standing Tuesday afternoon off, or used in an emergency, like when you have surgery or a family crisis. Both count.
Types of respite care options for older adults
In-home respite
A caregiver comes to your parent’s home for a few hours, a full day, or overnight. Your parent keeps their routine, their bed, and their bathroom. This is often the easiest start, especially for someone with memory loss. We cover how in-home respite care works, what to ask, and how to schedule it in our guide to in-home respite care. Many families use it alongside regular home care services.
Adult day programs
Adult day centers offer supervision, meals, activities, and sometimes nursing or therapy during business hours. Some specialize in dementia care. Your parent gets company and structure, and you get a predictable block of time. Many centers can pick up and drop off.
Short-term stays in assisted living or a nursing home
Short term respite care in a facility usually means a stay of a few days to a few weeks. Assisted living works for someone who needs help with daily tasks but not round-the-clock nursing. A nursing home, or skilled nursing facility, fits someone with heavier medical needs. Not every community takes short-term residents, and many have a minimum stay, so call ahead. This kind of short term respite care for elderly parents is common when the caregiver travels, recovers from illness, or needs a longer rest.
Hospice respite
If your parent is on hospice under Medicare, the hospice benefit includes inpatient respite care. Your parent can stay in a Medicare-approved facility for up to 5 days in a row so you can rest. You may owe a small coinsurance, about 5% of the Medicare-approved amount. You can use it more than once, though hospices decide when it fits. Read more in our guide to hospice respite care.
Informal respite
A sibling, neighbor, friend, or faith group can cover a few hours. This costs nothing, but it works best when it is written down: who comes, which day, what to do if something goes wrong. Informal help is still respite. You do not need a program’s permission to take a break.
How many hours of respite care are you allowed?
There is no single national limit. The answer depends on who pays:
- Private pay: as many hours as you can afford and a provider can staff. Many agencies have a minimum visit of 2 to 4 hours.
- Medicaid waiver programs: each state sets its own limit, often a yearly cap in hours, days, or dollars. Your case manager will tell you what your parent’s plan allows.
- VA: veterans who need a caregiver may get up to 30 days of respite care each year, at home, in an adult day health care center, or in a VA community living center or contracted nursing home.
- Hospice under Medicare: up to 5 days in a row of inpatient respite at a time.
- Local caregiver programs: the National Family Caregiver Support Program, run through each Area Agency on Aging, often offers a set number of respite hours per year, depending on funding.
If a program says your hours are used up, ask whether there is a waitlist for more, an emergency respite option, or another program you can combine it with.
How much does respite care cost?
Costs vary a lot by state and city. As a rough national guide, the CareScout Cost of Care Survey (formerly Genworth) found these national medians in its most recent survey:
- In-home, non-medical caregiver: about $35 an hour
- Adult day health care: about $95 a day
- Assisted living: about $6,200 a month
- Nursing home, semi-private room: about $315 a day
Short-term stays in assisted living are often priced by the day and may cost more per day than a long-term stay. Ask for the daily rate, any move-in fee, and what is included.
Who pays for respite care?
Medicare generally does not pay for respite care on its own. The main exception is hospice, which covers inpatient respite as described above. Some Medicare Advantage plans include a limited in-home support benefit, so check your parent’s plan documents. If your parent has dementia, Medicare’s GUIDE program, offered through participating dementia care programs, can pay up to $2,500 a year toward respite for a qualifying caregiver.
Medicaid covers respite in many states through home and community-based services waivers. Eligibility depends on income, assets, and care needs.
The VA covers respite for eligible veterans. Call the VA Caregiver Support Line at 1-855-260-3274 to ask.
Long-term care insurance policies often include respite benefits. Read the policy or call the insurer.
State and local programs, including Lifespan Respite programs and your local Area Agency on Aging, may offer vouchers, grants, or free hours. Some let you pay a family member or friend.
For the bigger picture on how home care and hospice are paid for, see who pays for hospice care at home.
How to find respite care near you
- Eldercare Locator: call or text 1-800-677-1116, or search at eldercare.acl.gov. They connect you with your Area Agency on Aging.
- Area Agency on Aging: ask about caregiver support, respite vouchers, adult day programs, and Medicaid waiver screening.
- ARCH National Respite Locator: a free search tool from the ARCH National Respite Network that lists respite providers and state respite coalitions.
- Your parent’s doctor or hospice team: they often know which local programs have openings.
When you contact a provider, use the questions in our guide to interviewing home care or hospice providers.
When it is time to take a break
Many caregivers wait too long. Watch for these signs of caregiver burnout:
- You are tired all the time, even after sleep.
- You snap at your parent or feel resentful, then feel guilty.
- You have stopped seeing friends or doing anything for yourself.
- Your own health appointments keep getting pushed back.
- You worry about what would happen if you got sick.
Guilt is normal. Many family caregivers feel they are failing if they ask for help. Respite care allows you to recharge so you can keep caregiving longer and with more patience. If you are already past that point, read when caring for a parent is too much.
Preparing your parent for respite
- Talk about it early and simply: “Someone is coming to help on Tuesdays so I can get my errands done.”
- Start small, with a short first visit while you are nearby.
- Write a one-page care sheet: medications and times, allergies, diet, mobility, toileting, sleep habits, what calms them, and emergency contacts.
- Pack familiar items for a facility stay: photos, a blanket, their own pillow, glasses, hearing aids, and chargers.
- For dementia care, keep the same time of day and, if possible, the same caregiver each visit.
- Check in after the first visit and adjust.
Your next steps
- Write down how much of a break you need: hours a week, a day a week, or a week away.
- Decide which type fits your parent: in-home, adult day, a short stay, or hospice respite.
- Call the Eldercare Locator or your Area Agency on Aging to ask what respite programs your parent qualifies for.
- Check Medicaid, VA, hospice, and long-term care insurance benefits.
- Get prices from two or three providers and ask about minimums.
- Prepare the care sheet and schedule the first short visit.
- Put your next break on the calendar before this one ends.
For more support in your role, see our guide for family caregivers.
